Posted on February 16, 2010 by Gary Chow | No Comments » | Trackback URL
When you find a document difficult to read, you can bet one of the main causes is the prevalence of long sentences.
Long sentences are a bore. And they are distracting. They force you to spend more time than you want in order to understand the meaning. They are the antithesis of plain English.
The problem with a long sentence is that there are too many ideas and points being made at the same time. This forces you to read slower than you would normally and to re-read passages. It makes you do something you don’t want to do. So as well as being hard work, long sentences are annoying.
Journalists are usually good at writing in plain English, but not always. This recent article is a good example of how long sentences can bog down a report. Here’s an excerpt:
‘The triumph of the Bilodeau family enlarged this nation – which appeared to greet the one Gold medal it had been told it must, at the very least, win in Vancouver, not with a release of noisy nationalism but rather a coy relief and a clap.’
That’s 46 words. According to the Oxford Guide to Plain English, the average number of words you should aim for over the course of a document should be between 15-20 words.
And here’s another example from the same article:
‘Within the soupy, steamed up cafes and the old timber bars in Quebec it seemed the victory offered more an opportunity for Canadians to quietly show two fingers to those among them who’ve wanted the urgers and boosters to this time step up, shoulder aside a nation’s temperament and plunder medals with a patriotic blood-lust.’
The word count on this one is 55 words.
Both sentences are difficult to read. I had to read them at least twice before I understood their meaning.
To improve the clarity of your copy, you need to keep sentences short. You can do so by following this guideline:
- Express one point per sentence
- Support your primary sentence by putting associated points and ideas in separate sentences
- Say less. Be economical with words
- Cut verbiage
- Don’t overwrite.
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